N.J.’s Personal Anecdote:
This was not a planned post, but I must be obedient to the Holy Spirit.
On August 14, 2025, I received a phone call from my Dad. During our phone call, he reflected on his youth, and the topic of conquest came up, and how many men of his generation conflated sex with love and prioritized conquest over genuine interest. He shared something I hadn't known before: King Solomon went to great lengths to impress the Shulamite woman because she was still in love with a shepherd boy from her youth. This idea gave me pause, as it added depth to something I had been contemplating while reading Genesis 3 recently. In that story, Adam chose to partake of the fruit with Eve rather than heed God's Word; in that moment, he made an idol of Eve, prioritizing her above God.
I shared this thought with my Dad and added that it seemed to me that, while men may find it challenging to resist women, very few women forego the temptation of being worshipped by a man and pointing him back to God.
It was an unexpected revelation as I spoke.
My Dad responded by noting that many people overlook how some men become fixated on conquering a woman, often going to great lengths to win her over. He reiterated that King Solomon did everything he could to win the affection of the Shulamite woman, yet she remained in love with the shepherd boy. Solomon even built an altar to her god/idol, sacrificing his favor with the Most High God, much like Adam had done.
The very next day, August 15, 2025, a YouTube video short of young Ethiopian Orthodox Christians appeared. I pressed play, and they highlighted various aspects of the Tawedho church. One young man mentioned wearing a Kuta, and a young woman mentioned wearing a Netela, which prompted me to do an internet search to understand its significance. I accidentally misspelled "Netela" as "Natela," and my search results brought up information about Saint Natalia.
It turns out that Adrian and Natalia were a young Roman married couple during a time of persecution for Christians. A group of 23 Christians was being targeted, and their faith so moved Adrian that he declared himself a Christian. He was imprisoned alongside them but was briefly released to say his final goodbyes. Upon arriving home, Natalia assumed that Adrian had renounced his faith and refused to let him inside. Adrian clarified that he had remained steadfast in his belief, and she rejoiced, knowing he was still willing to sacrifice his life for Christ.
Adrian was later martyred, and Natalia joined him in death. They were subsequently recognized as St. Adrian and St. Natalia in the Eastern Orthodox Church, and they are also celebrated as models of Christian marriage, where God is always placed first. The Coptic Orthodox Church also honors the Martyrdom of Saint Adrianus and his companions on the third day of the Coptic month of Nesi (which corresponds to September 8). On this day, the Synaxarion reading highlights Natalia's important role.
What stood out in Adrian and Natalia’s story was her willingness to turn her husband away from their home and back to God, rather than prioritizing her own needs.
In Genesis 3:5, Eve was tempted by the prospect of becoming like a goddess and entered into a covenant with the serpent by eating the forbidden fruit. Instead of returning to God's word, Adam treated Eve as a god or idol and also ate the fruit.
Over the years, before I was fully surrendered to Christ and growing in my understanding of the Kingdom of God, I relished when men fawned over me. I had been stalked several times, proposed to multiple times, and prioritized my ego in most situations. I even had a humbling personal dissolution of marriage testimony directly connected to this revelation (which will be shared in another post).
Before talking with my Dad, I attended a Christian women’s event some time ago. I ended up talking to a woman who had been married for over twenty years. She admitted that she pressured her now-husband into marriage and felt he resented her, hinting that she and her husband didn’t exactly like each other but remained committed to the commitment of marriage.
Companionship is not meant to be supplementary; it is complementary. Marriage is not a performance. And marriage should not be placed before God. It’s a gift from God to help us run this race of life, and we should never want His gifts more than God Himself.
If viewed as a Christian sacrament, marriage is meant to grow us in holiness and deepen our relationship with God. Many couples, instead of recognizing that God is not the primary reason or bond, undermine the sanctity of marriage by turning it into an idol or social currency.
To drive this point and revelation, the Holy Spirit moved a friend to call me after receiving this revelation. He had been venting that in the process of preparing financial documents for an investment, his wife learned that he had been giving several hundred dollars to the church monthly. His wife was upset and told him he should stop giving to the church because their household needs should come before the church and that she should come before God.
My friend, being an unapologetic man of God, explained to her that his love of God is what enables him to love her even when she is being unloving.
This is the fall of Adam and Eve over and over. This is King Solomon forfeiting his blessing. This is Samson and Delilah. This is Jesus resisting the Devil in the wilderness. This is Nicodemus choosing religion and social validation over truth.
Women who seek to come before God in a man’s life position themselves in opposition to God.
“The woman is not just female, femininity is the outward appearance of your vessel, woman is the office you carry inside of you.” Aposle Isi Igenegma
Imagine that.
Daughters of the Kingdom of God, consider this an admonishment to check your heart posture in matters of companionship and marriage. Always be pointing the men in your life to the Most High God. Do not move the men in your life to fall short of God’s glory, which is to be obedient to the Word of God, to appease your insecurities. Give those insecurities to God.
Dear God,
Thank You for this timely revelation. I repent for any time I have positioned myself and my desires between a child of God and Your will for them. I lay every doubt, every insecurity, every misunderstanding of Your will and way at the foot of Your throne and surrender to You. Make every crooked path straight and cast out of my mind every false doctrine that exalts itself against You and Your Kingdom. Thank You for Your grace and mercy.
In Your Holy Name, Amen.